Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
A Bit of Catching Up
Great news! We didn't go back to Riley's before the April 9 cadiology, plastic surgery, general surgery appointment! It was nice being home for two weeks, lol. Although the last few weeks have going by pretty fast and are quite busy since we are getting ready for a surgery.
The general surgery appointment went amazingly. The doctor said his j tube site looks just about as good as it can! That's great news! We don't have to go back to see him until August, or sooner if necessary, for tube changing :)
The plastic surgeon came in and basically called me a liar when I told him the issues we had and what was told to us when we came to the ER a few weeks beforehand. Great news, though, is that his foot looks awesome! It's so good at this point, that we don't even do the whole bandaging regimine most days now. He still gets his daily soak and it gets covered if we go out in public, but it's rarely covered when we are at home.
Cardiology was fun, like usual. We absolutely love our cardiologist and are going to be heartbroken whenever he decides to retire (which I hope is many many years down the road). After telling him everything we've been going through lately, heart wise, he said it was probably time to start thinking about getting his next surgery scheduled- it wasn't a rush kind of thing, but something we should think of. We received a call a few days later to schedule his surgery- their dates were May 4 and June 12. We decided to go with the earlier date, even though his cardiologist said the end of May beginning of June would be ok, because he has been increasingly cyanotic these days. We did, however, confirm that that was ok with his cardiologist just to be sure. So, surgery is slated for Friday with pre-op Thursday- barring any unforseen circumstances.
These last few weeks have flown by, as I stated at the beginning of this post. Lucas has been full of adorable lately! He just does the cutest things to get a reaction out of you and is always so surprised when you do have a reaction. He took his first, unassisted, step this week. It was super wobbly and was only one, but you have!
His weigh in was 14 pounds 11 ounces on April 19! So, we're super hopeful that he will have reached 15 by Thursday's weigh in.
Andy is in the process of getting a new job so we can hopefully have money sometime again. These $20 paychecks are getting quite ridiculous! Hopefully we will hear from them this week. It would be really awesome if it was before we left.
Lucas also had a surprise birthday party on the 19! We thought we were just going to a playdate and this is what we got! He got great toys, and got to eat his first cupcake which, as you can see, he enjoyed....a lot :) It's nice to have friends that truely care since it seems like my "best" one is slipping away.
Later that afternoon, we wen to see my aunt at her office and Lucas fell and got attacked by the carpet shark! *It's a shark, because he fell on the floor and we know he didn't hit anything on the way down.* This lead to his first urgent urgent ER trip. He bled, a lot, for a good 10 minutes. I didn't put him in his seat on the way to the hospital because of how much he was bleeding/screaming. He fell asleep on the way to the hospital and when we got there and the nurse needed to wake him up to assess for a concussion is was nearly impossible- I was scared to death. But, he didn't have a concussion and didn't even require stitches! YAY! He did, however, flirt with the nurse and shared his story :)
That's really about all that has been going on in Tagueland lately. We've been laying pretty low lately- just the way we like it :)
The general surgery appointment went amazingly. The doctor said his j tube site looks just about as good as it can! That's great news! We don't have to go back to see him until August, or sooner if necessary, for tube changing :)
The plastic surgeon came in and basically called me a liar when I told him the issues we had and what was told to us when we came to the ER a few weeks beforehand. Great news, though, is that his foot looks awesome! It's so good at this point, that we don't even do the whole bandaging regimine most days now. He still gets his daily soak and it gets covered if we go out in public, but it's rarely covered when we are at home.
Cardiology was fun, like usual. We absolutely love our cardiologist and are going to be heartbroken whenever he decides to retire (which I hope is many many years down the road). After telling him everything we've been going through lately, heart wise, he said it was probably time to start thinking about getting his next surgery scheduled- it wasn't a rush kind of thing, but something we should think of. We received a call a few days later to schedule his surgery- their dates were May 4 and June 12. We decided to go with the earlier date, even though his cardiologist said the end of May beginning of June would be ok, because he has been increasingly cyanotic these days. We did, however, confirm that that was ok with his cardiologist just to be sure. So, surgery is slated for Friday with pre-op Thursday- barring any unforseen circumstances.
These last few weeks have flown by, as I stated at the beginning of this post. Lucas has been full of adorable lately! He just does the cutest things to get a reaction out of you and is always so surprised when you do have a reaction. He took his first, unassisted, step this week. It was super wobbly and was only one, but you have!
His weigh in was 14 pounds 11 ounces on April 19! So, we're super hopeful that he will have reached 15 by Thursday's weigh in.
Andy is in the process of getting a new job so we can hopefully have money sometime again. These $20 paychecks are getting quite ridiculous! Hopefully we will hear from them this week. It would be really awesome if it was before we left.
Lucas also had a surprise birthday party on the 19! We thought we were just going to a playdate and this is what we got! He got great toys, and got to eat his first cupcake which, as you can see, he enjoyed....a lot :) It's nice to have friends that truely care since it seems like my "best" one is slipping away.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Plastic Surgery can bite my butt...
Well, the IV infiltration turned out pretty gruesome. I honestly don't know where to even start. I came back the next day and there was a blister on his foot. They brought the plastic surgeons down and they said it looked like it would heal on it own in time but there was a possibility he would need a skin graft. They sent us home putting bacitracian, neosporin gauze, and regular gauze on it twice a day. We were released on Monday and ended up going back to the ER on Friday night because he was super fussy, wasn't eating, had a lot of drainage from his jtube and was running a fever most of the day. This time we only had to stay until Monday- mostly because we had a plastic surgery appointment Monday afternoon. At this appointment, we met the most unkind, heartless doctor around. He was a total jackass to us and acted like we were taking his time when we asked a few questions after he spent only about 3 minutes with Lucas. We left doing the same thing we had been doing and were to come back on 3/22. The next week and a half flew by with no issues at all, then his foot started changing dramatically every 12 hours for 2 days. I wasn't feeling comfortable with what the plastic surgeons on call were telling us- or the nurse that works for the plastic surgeons, so I decided we would take him to Sullivan County Hospital to have an actual person to look at it. The nice doctor there said we should probably go ahead and go back to Riley's just to be on the safe side. That's right....three times in less then a month...
So we got back to Riley's around 1:30 in the morning...and while they were moving a lot faster this time around and had things done pretty promptly, we still didn't get a room on the heart center until around 6:30 in the morning.
Plastic Surgery came up around 8 or so and looked at it...and in their most uncaring, empty voice said this is what it's supposed to look like. At this point, I hadn't had any sleep in over 24 hours and went off on the doctor. Because no one told us when to worry or what looked good and what looked bad and seemed completely heartless to me. Also, if they had just came down to the ER the night before, we could have gone home and slept and not worried that we were going to be having an emergency surgery.He pretty much blew me off and went away.....UGH I HATE PLASTIC SURGEONS!!!!!!!!!!
So, now are putting a different type of cream on it, and the neosporin gauze, and the dressings twice a day, except now we are also letting him soak in water for ten minutes every day. This part grosses me out because parts of the stuff falls off in the water and makes me all squeemish.
Now we don't have to go back to Indianapolis *hopefully* until April 9 for cardiology, plastics, and hopefully a general surgery appointment.
On a side note, I have seen people complain about Riley's and I have always stuck up for them and will continue too, however, I now understand what these people are complaining about. I have never had a bad experience there unil we have had to meet the plastic surgery department. The doctors don't seem to care about people and I've never felt like a doctor was more in a hurry. I thought maybe it was just a one time thing....you know, behind schedule, etc...it happens. But now that I've met more then one of them and both treated me/us the exact same way, I think they are all like that. I hate it....I will continue to stand up for them as a whole, however, I will not include plastics in my positive experieces.
So we got back to Riley's around 1:30 in the morning...and while they were moving a lot faster this time around and had things done pretty promptly, we still didn't get a room on the heart center until around 6:30 in the morning.
Plastic Surgery came up around 8 or so and looked at it...and in their most uncaring, empty voice said this is what it's supposed to look like. At this point, I hadn't had any sleep in over 24 hours and went off on the doctor. Because no one told us when to worry or what looked good and what looked bad and seemed completely heartless to me. Also, if they had just came down to the ER the night before, we could have gone home and slept and not worried that we were going to be having an emergency surgery.He pretty much blew me off and went away.....UGH I HATE PLASTIC SURGEONS!!!!!!!!!!
So, now are putting a different type of cream on it, and the neosporin gauze, and the dressings twice a day, except now we are also letting him soak in water for ten minutes every day. This part grosses me out because parts of the stuff falls off in the water and makes me all squeemish.
Now we don't have to go back to Indianapolis *hopefully* until April 9 for cardiology, plastics, and hopefully a general surgery appointment.
On a side note, I have seen people complain about Riley's and I have always stuck up for them and will continue too, however, I now understand what these people are complaining about. I have never had a bad experience there unil we have had to meet the plastic surgery department. The doctors don't seem to care about people and I've never felt like a doctor was more in a hurry. I thought maybe it was just a one time thing....you know, behind schedule, etc...it happens. But now that I've met more then one of them and both treated me/us the exact same way, I think they are all like that. I hate it....I will continue to stand up for them as a whole, however, I will not include plastics in my positive experieces.
Friday, February 24, 2012
One step forward....two steps back
Yesterday I posted about how well Lucas was doing and how he was playing and being Lucas again. Well, today he did the opposite! He had been fussy this morning and super pukey- he puked at least 3 times before noon and it was just nasty, green, stomach juices only puke. Each time he would puke, they would turn his feeding machine off for half an hour to let him rest and seemed to do really well during those half hour periods. They would turn it back on and he would puke again shortly after that so they turned his feeds- which had been at 30 ml/hr- down to 10 ml/hr to see if that would help.
He didn't puke anymore after that but was still so incredibly fussy. We gave him tylenol with codene and even morphine but neither of those phased him. It got so bad that after 3+ hours of nonstop crying and writing in pain, I had to leave. I couldn't sit there and watch my baby hurt that much and be able to do nothing about it. I had a breakdown and then started to feel a little better, but I still couldn't go into his room because he was still crying. They finally agreed to just turn the feeding pump off for overnight to give his bowels a break- after all, he was getting more food through there a day then he was taking by mouth before he even had surgery. His cardiologist and the surgeon both agreed that the dieticians were feeding him way too much through the pump- they had just wanted it in to boost what he ate a day, and to ensure he got enough formula to stay hydrated and gain weight at a good level.Our goal going in was to just do feeds overnght, but the dieticians were insistant on getting him to full feeds through the pump and doing them all day long. His little body can't handle all of that. Now that those two are aware of what has been going on, I think it's about to change for the better. Dr. Engum told us to expect several more days here as we figure out a good balance with his feeds. He would rather we stayed a few extra days as opposed to going home on eggshells--we are both A-OK with that!
He was also constipated today and was trying his hardest to resolve that issue which caused him a lot of pain as well. He finally started the process of going shortly before we left for the evening. And to make the day all better, I wen to change his second poopy diaper and realized his leg was a tad swollen. When the nurses took the cast off it, it was so big they could barely cut his name band off. His IV had gone bad :( but by this point he was just so exhausted he laid in the bed all lifeless and just looked around as people were doing things.
When we left for the evening, he was snuggled up with granny and his heating pack snoozing away. I hope tomorrow is a better day <3
Day 3, Day Nurse= awesome, Night Nurse= I presume is awesome- I've never met her before tonight, Pain/other Issues= FAIL! ...but at least we came out at the end of the day and he was still in his room and had to have nothing more then a new IV put in <3
He didn't puke anymore after that but was still so incredibly fussy. We gave him tylenol with codene and even morphine but neither of those phased him. It got so bad that after 3+ hours of nonstop crying and writing in pain, I had to leave. I couldn't sit there and watch my baby hurt that much and be able to do nothing about it. I had a breakdown and then started to feel a little better, but I still couldn't go into his room because he was still crying. They finally agreed to just turn the feeding pump off for overnight to give his bowels a break- after all, he was getting more food through there a day then he was taking by mouth before he even had surgery. His cardiologist and the surgeon both agreed that the dieticians were feeding him way too much through the pump- they had just wanted it in to boost what he ate a day, and to ensure he got enough formula to stay hydrated and gain weight at a good level.Our goal going in was to just do feeds overnght, but the dieticians were insistant on getting him to full feeds through the pump and doing them all day long. His little body can't handle all of that. Now that those two are aware of what has been going on, I think it's about to change for the better. Dr. Engum told us to expect several more days here as we figure out a good balance with his feeds. He would rather we stayed a few extra days as opposed to going home on eggshells--we are both A-OK with that!
He was also constipated today and was trying his hardest to resolve that issue which caused him a lot of pain as well. He finally started the process of going shortly before we left for the evening. And to make the day all better, I wen to change his second poopy diaper and realized his leg was a tad swollen. When the nurses took the cast off it, it was so big they could barely cut his name band off. His IV had gone bad :( but by this point he was just so exhausted he laid in the bed all lifeless and just looked around as people were doing things.
When we left for the evening, he was snuggled up with granny and his heating pack snoozing away. I hope tomorrow is a better day <3
Thursday, February 23, 2012
J tube surgery
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| Does this kid look like he just had surgery?! |
I got about an hours worth of sleep then I was up and ready to go. We were up an hour before we even had to be, so we were ready earlier and quite bored. Lucas was getting sleepy so we decided to come to the hospital early so that we wouldn't have to wake him up to put him in the car and get him back out. We got here, registration was quick and painless- we pre-registered on Tuesday :). We went back to day surgery waiting and waited...and waited...and waited. We didn't really wait that long. Surgery was scheduled for 12:30 and they took him about 12:10, but my morning was dragging so bad because I was so anxious to just get it over with. He fell asleep about 5 minutes before they took him back and didn't even budge when I handed him over. That helped since he didn't scream bloody murder when I gave him to someone he didn't know.
We went up to the waiting room and my mom and dad got there about 10 minutes later. The surgery took about an hour and a half, but since my day was dragging, it felt like it took about 5 hours. The receptionest finally came and told us we could go back to see him and I was excited- yet nervous. Lucas isn't very friendly when waking up from the anestesia, and it breaks my heart to see him in that condition. He wasn't that bad, though. A little grumpy and cried out a few times, but he was mostly contained. The surgeon said everything went well. I had asked before he went back for them to look at his frenulum uner his tongue to see if that needed cut since he was already going to be back there, and he said they did cut it. Now I wonder if that's what was causing him to not eat much this whole time...
We didn't spend long in the recovery room- which is good...that room was a different experience from what I am used to. The previous surgeries he went straight to PICU, so I had never seen that room. I gotta say, I'm ok with that. It reminds me of what I see a lot of hospital pictures like- a lot of people in one giant room of people seperated by only curtains.
Once we got to the heart center, things calmed down pretty quickly. I held him pretty much nonstop- and didn't mind because my baby was sore and didn't know what was going on. The only downside is that we had a quite uncomfy rocking chair....my butt was numb, lol.
Feeds were to start at 6 pm. We were told they were on their way up from the pharmacy, so we decided to leave Lucas with granny and go down for some dinner. Once we got back- around 7, we learned that he screamed the entire time we were gone- even though he was playing when we left- and that he still hadn't had a bottle. I asked our nurse and she said it was going to be about ten more minutes. Around 7:40, I asked our night nurse and they said about 10 more minutes again. I waited the ten minutes because I understand how things work, sometimes. Once that ten was up, I talked to the charge nurse. I didn't want to go crazy on our night nurse because they hadn't been around the whole time, and honestly, I hate to put my foot down. The charge nurse called the pharmacy to see what was up. They had it made- but was waiting to bring it in the next medicine rounds they did. We got it much sooner, though, and my big boy who had just gone through surgery ate 4 ounces! He barely ate that in a sitting at home!
Andy and I left not long after that to go for the night. My mom said he did really well through the night and woke up only a few times to eat and be held.
So far today he has been a champ! We got here and he was EAGER for me to pick him up. I love when he's so happy to see me after having been gone for a while. I held him like I hold him at home- he didn't mind that either. He let me lay him down to put a onesie on him- we have decided we have to keep him dressed all of the time- he has curious fingers, and although we are learning how to get something in to at least keep the hole open, I prefer to not have to use that knowledge...ever! We even got to go for a walk around the heart center! Lucas loves to go for walks- he likes the change of pace...and he likes flirting- with EVERYONE! He did great- after mommy and daddy finally figured out how to put everything in the stroller so we wouldn't have to push the IV cart at the same time.
We came back and he went to sleep shortly after.
He is doing so good. I could just go on and on for days about how impressed I am. To think he had surgery just 24 hours ago and is already sitting, standing, and playing is just beyong my imagination of how good I had hoped he would do. Now mommy and daddy just have to learn to trust that we can do this and we'll be good to go!!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
I don't think it ever gets better...
Here I am. It's 3:00 in the morning. I should be in bed resting as much as I can before the long day ahead of me, but I can't. I'm wide awake and nothing is helping. I just have this "mommy intuition" that something is going to go wrong and it's eating me up. I had this same feeling the night before his BT Shunt....the night before the afternoon they were so close to putting my baby on life support...the night before I thought we lost him when I heard the words, "you can go to the bathroom after you go back to day surgery. They need to talk to you." Call me crazy, but I have a feeling.
Andy says it's just because it's a surgery and I've psyched myself out- to which I have replied time and again that I slept like a rock the night before he had his pacemaker placed, and I wasn't even tired that night.
I HATE THIS FEELING! I'm so nauseous that I am barely keeping a drink down at this point. I can only hope, pray, wish, and positive vibe myself through this. I don't want to be a heart mommy anymore, today. I want to go home, snuggle up in my much less comfortable bed with my tv, my fan, and the vibration of the fish airerator thingy to keep me company as I drift off to sleep.
Andy says it's just because it's a surgery and I've psyched myself out- to which I have replied time and again that I slept like a rock the night before he had his pacemaker placed, and I wasn't even tired that night.
I HATE THIS FEELING! I'm so nauseous that I am barely keeping a drink down at this point. I can only hope, pray, wish, and positive vibe myself through this. I don't want to be a heart mommy anymore, today. I want to go home, snuggle up in my much less comfortable bed with my tv, my fan, and the vibration of the fish airerator thingy to keep me company as I drift off to sleep.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
When Ashley met Andy Part 7 (to catch up to today!)
When I left off, I promised the next episode would include all of the major holiday's so here goes.
In October, I decided to change his regular doctor. I loved the doctor we had, but he was old school and did things that way- which would be ok in most circumstances, but not in Lucas's. The fact that we had to come for his first open heart surgery before anyone even began to seem concerned about his weight. His doctor just kept saying he was gaining plenty and not to worry. We went with a pediatrician that his cardiology team actually recommened- and I am so glad that we did. We went there on 27 calorie formula, switched to 30 calorie formula in December, and now we are getting a J-tube placed tomorrow.
The atmosphere there is also much better- more...doctory, I guess you could say.
For Halloween, he dressed up as a dionosaur- it was adorable!
In October, I decided to change his regular doctor. I loved the doctor we had, but he was old school and did things that way- which would be ok in most circumstances, but not in Lucas's. The fact that we had to come for his first open heart surgery before anyone even began to seem concerned about his weight. His doctor just kept saying he was gaining plenty and not to worry. We went with a pediatrician that his cardiology team actually recommened- and I am so glad that we did. We went there on 27 calorie formula, switched to 30 calorie formula in December, and now we are getting a J-tube placed tomorrow.
The atmosphere there is also much better- more...doctory, I guess you could say.
For Halloween, he dressed up as a dionosaur- it was adorable!
His first Thanksgiving was pretty low key- we like things that way. We went to my grandma's and had dinner- he got to try a few things but was sleepy so he slept through a lot of it.
Christmas was also spent at my grandma's- we don't do much with Andy's family because, well, I don't care for a particular member, an she is ALWAYS there- and he played with his older cousin Zane. It was adorable to see them play <3. He opened his presents on daddy's lap and seemed to get bored with it pretty fast....maybe next year!
At his January appointment, his doctor referred him to a behavioral specialest- to see what she thought about his weight issues (he still wasn't gaining much on 30 calorie formula). We went to see her, and she was thrilled with his development- other then the weight gain. She said there was nothing physical hold him back, so she referred us to a speech therapist. We had that appointment on the same day as his next cardiologist appointment. His cardiologist said he was doing decent heart wise, and was going to continue to wait on his next surgery, but was going to go ahead and refer us to someone to get a gtube placed since he still wasn't gaining the appropriate amount of weight. We met that doctor two weeks later, and with his help, we decided to place a j tube- his pacemaker is where they would put the gtube and it seemed like a little bit better a chance of speedy recovery if they didn't have to move that around, too. So, he goes in tomorrow morning to have that placed. The doctor said it would probably be a three day stay- max, but we'll see....it was only supposed to be a 5-7 day stay last time, lol. I am uber nervous and just can't shake the feeling that something is going to go wrong again and we'll be here for a month again (not that I mind, he is in great hands after all :)).
Now we are all caught up to today, so it will start being more in depth with daily life :)
Sunday, February 5, 2012
When Ashley met Andy Pt 6 (More like, when Lucas had Open Heart Surgery)
Before I begin, I must say that some things will be out of order...I didn't write things down as they went, so I remember it all, but maybe not in exact order :)
Surgery was scheduled for August 30. We were told to expect a one week stay, tops. My mom went with me to take him to pre-op the day before so Andy could work. He and my dad came down that evening. Pre-op wasn't too bad- other then the having to use his head vein to get blood :( It was a pretty low key day. We were done with everything we had to do by 12, but were stuck waiting around until 5 for the surgeon to come in and go over the last minute things with us. I didn't sleep a wink that night. My nerves were awful! The next morning came and we went over to wait in day surgery. We played and giggled until it was time to take him back. I had a small break down- scared my baby wasn't going to make it through. We went up to wait in the waiting area. My mom finally convinced me to eat something and brought me some McDonald's back since I refused to leave the waiting area. After the second update, I finally felt comfortable enough to use the restroom. I went and asked the receptionist where the restroom was and she told me, but said I needed to go down to surgery first. I started freaking out! What was wrong with my baby? Why did I have to go down there? The knot was huge in my stomach. I couldn't do it myself so I went to grab Andy. I wouldn't let my mom or dad come down because I didn't want them there at the time. We went down and waited...and waited and waited. Finally the RN who does the rounds during surgery to update all families came in to talk to us. She told us that once he was in position and about to be cut on, his sats dropped to the low 30's. The surgeon had decided to just go in through his front to get it done much faster. She said that they had the heart/lung machine ready but he finally started resatting nicely. He was ok, but he was going to look a lot worse then we were prepared for. I cried for about 5 minutes but then just told myself to be happy that he was alive and that we had such a great surgeon who took care of my little sunshine.
The surgeon came in about 20 minutes later to tell us how it went. I think he liked the challenge :)
We went to the PICU waiting area and waited for the nurses to come get us to take us back to see him. I wasn't prepared for what I saw. She tried to prepare us, but nothing can prepare you to see your child helpless, unconscious, with tubes and wires ALL over them. I did cry again *I am a big sob fest, after all :)* but his toes were pink!!!!! Not pinkish or gray...or blue, but PINK!! One of the best sites <3.
They did administer sedatives and paralytics to keep him still for about 20 hours after because he was trying to pull his breathing tube out. The next day, they started letting him wake up a little. He did really well and they decided to take his breathing tube out that evening!I remember the respiratory team coming in to look at him before doing it- I asked if they wanted us to leave. They told me that we didn't have to, so I sat in the corner and watched. I regret that.
They pulled it out with no issues, but then he didn't breathe........for about a minute. I was freaking out a little- nothing like the team standing around his bed and the lead standing in the door keep asking if there's airway. I thought for sure they would be reintubating him, but nope! Lucas let out a WAIL! PHEW!
The next day we held him. I was so so nervous because he had just had open heart surgery, after all. The nurse handed him to me and it was so sweet. I missed holding my little guy. He seemed even more helpless- he still wasn't eating and he was just wore out, but I wouldn't trade those minutes for anything. Daddy held him to- it was funny to see how nervous he was! We were both just scared to move him for fear of hurting something. Our PICU nurses were the best! I know we weren't the first "scared" parents, but I felt like we were and they made it seem ok.
The cultures came back positive for an infection so we had a 10-14 day stay ahead of us because they were IV antibiotics- ugh! Looking back, though, I am glad he got that infection. It allowed the cardiologists to see his heart block progress up until around day 10 of the antibiotic round when they said they were going to go ahead and put a pacemaker in because heart block could worsen and cause more issues. Surgery was scheduled for the day after meds were done. He had finally started eating at this point so I thought for sure we were going backwards. I felt SO much better going into this surgery. Pre op was the same, but it was a lot easier this time around- I wasn't nearly as nervous. It took just a couple hours and they told us they were done. We went to PICU and waited until he was all situated in his new room and went back to see him. He looked SO much better this time- no breathing tube, very few wires, and already waking up from anesthesia. His pacemaker looked HUGE in his belly though. They told us to expect that since he was so tiny, but it was a lot bigger then I anticipated. The only setback this time was that they had given him a little too much pain medication and his breathing had slowed down quite a bit overnight, but that was easily fixed by giving him something to reverse the effects. We headed back up to the heart center that afternoon. I wasn't nervous picking him up or holding him this time. He was eating like a champ all by himself with no tube! and we were set to go home in a few days. That Friday couldn't have gotten there any sooner! 23 days in the hospital, 3 PICU stays, countless IV's and x-rays, 2 PICC lines, and 2 surgeries later, we were released. I may have been even more nervous to take him home this time over after leaving NICU. Surgery follow up and his first pacer check was scheduled for 2 weeks later. We got the all clear from his surgeon as well as his pacemaker doctor. YAY! We were doing right! 
I know I've forgotten some things, and for this, I am sorry. I regret not writing as we've gone, but that won't happen with the next ones :)Next episode: Changing his PCP, Lucas's first Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
My Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus adventure
I've learned that, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 1 percent of the population carries the type of staph bacteria known as MRSA.
That's a lot different then the last thing I heard about MRSA which was about 5 years ago when it was something horrid and you were going to pretty much die from it if you got it.
I've had it for several months....but I didn't know it. I kept getting these little red "pimples" that I presumed to be ingrown hairs since they were on the top of my legs and on my stomach. These pimples would fill with pus and be so painful until I drained them- which just made them hurt worse. Once I started draining them, they just kept filling back up and it took about a week each time and lots of band-aids, gauze, peroxide, and draining to get them to go away. I have a scar from each one I've had. I had a pretty gross- in perspective- one in October that I sent a picture of to my aunt for her opinion. She knows a lot about health related things, etc. She said to just keep cleaning it, etc. After that I had a few more, nothing too bad though. About a month ago, though, I got one and as soon as it went away, a second one formed immediately *when the previous ones had at least a week between them* and then a third one while that one was still draining. The third one got pretty severe. I couldn't even leave a gauze pad on it for more then an hour or two before it needed changed again and it was really really deep and so painful that if Lucas even grazed the area around it, it hurt so bad. I had been sent a picture to my aunt of this one after about 3 days when it looked, what I thought, worse then any I had had yet. She told me to keep doing what I was doing and it should go away. She said I did need medical attention, but she also understands that we are beyond poor (poverty line...what's that?!) and that I don't have insurance. I kept at it for a few more days, but it just kept getting worse. I sent her one more picture and she told me to get help- it was bigger then I could handle on my own.
So, I went to the ER- simply because any doctor requires payment up front, and we don't have that. They more or less just put me in the very back room after admission and left me there for a good hour before anyone even came in to see me. The doctor came in, looked at it for like 30 seconds, stuck a giant swab in it and rubbed it around. That hurt worse then anything- maybe even more then child birth :O. He then said I had an abscess and would prescribe antibiotics for it. The nurse came in...cleaned it all up and bandaged it. He then gave me a shot in my rear and some pills to take. They sent me on my merry way and told me to call the doctor's office Monday to get the culture results.
I started taking the antibiotics- your run of the mill Kelflex and Bactrim DS. I didn't really think anything of it, although they did knock me out and keep me out for a couple of days- but I think that was the infection giving it's last shot at me.
I called on Monday and the nurse called back a few hours later. Confirmed who I was then kind of sighed a little and didn't say anything for a few seconds. She then told me that the culture tested positive for MRSA and that if it wasn't going away or if it came back I would have to come in for different medication. Thankfully, in just those 3 days, it looked tons better. I haven't missed a dose of my antibiotics- as I don't want it back...it's gross, it hurts, and it can be life threatening. I almost waited too long to get treatment. It could have turned out a lot worse then just a skin infection.
Today, it's almost completely healed and I haven't had any more "pimples" sprout up- which hopefully means it's sleeping for good!
MRSA sucks. I always said I wouldn't get MRSA....I also said I wouldn't ever have a baby, lol.
That's a lot different then the last thing I heard about MRSA which was about 5 years ago when it was something horrid and you were going to pretty much die from it if you got it.
I've had it for several months....but I didn't know it. I kept getting these little red "pimples" that I presumed to be ingrown hairs since they were on the top of my legs and on my stomach. These pimples would fill with pus and be so painful until I drained them- which just made them hurt worse. Once I started draining them, they just kept filling back up and it took about a week each time and lots of band-aids, gauze, peroxide, and draining to get them to go away. I have a scar from each one I've had. I had a pretty gross- in perspective- one in October that I sent a picture of to my aunt for her opinion. She knows a lot about health related things, etc. She said to just keep cleaning it, etc. After that I had a few more, nothing too bad though. About a month ago, though, I got one and as soon as it went away, a second one formed immediately *when the previous ones had at least a week between them* and then a third one while that one was still draining. The third one got pretty severe. I couldn't even leave a gauze pad on it for more then an hour or two before it needed changed again and it was really really deep and so painful that if Lucas even grazed the area around it, it hurt so bad. I had been sent a picture to my aunt of this one after about 3 days when it looked, what I thought, worse then any I had had yet. She told me to keep doing what I was doing and it should go away. She said I did need medical attention, but she also understands that we are beyond poor (poverty line...what's that?!) and that I don't have insurance. I kept at it for a few more days, but it just kept getting worse. I sent her one more picture and she told me to get help- it was bigger then I could handle on my own.
So, I went to the ER- simply because any doctor requires payment up front, and we don't have that. They more or less just put me in the very back room after admission and left me there for a good hour before anyone even came in to see me. The doctor came in, looked at it for like 30 seconds, stuck a giant swab in it and rubbed it around. That hurt worse then anything- maybe even more then child birth :O. He then said I had an abscess and would prescribe antibiotics for it. The nurse came in...cleaned it all up and bandaged it. He then gave me a shot in my rear and some pills to take. They sent me on my merry way and told me to call the doctor's office Monday to get the culture results.
I started taking the antibiotics- your run of the mill Kelflex and Bactrim DS. I didn't really think anything of it, although they did knock me out and keep me out for a couple of days- but I think that was the infection giving it's last shot at me.
I called on Monday and the nurse called back a few hours later. Confirmed who I was then kind of sighed a little and didn't say anything for a few seconds. She then told me that the culture tested positive for MRSA and that if it wasn't going away or if it came back I would have to come in for different medication. Thankfully, in just those 3 days, it looked tons better. I haven't missed a dose of my antibiotics- as I don't want it back...it's gross, it hurts, and it can be life threatening. I almost waited too long to get treatment. It could have turned out a lot worse then just a skin infection.
Today, it's almost completely healed and I haven't had any more "pimples" sprout up- which hopefully means it's sleeping for good!
MRSA sucks. I always said I wouldn't get MRSA....I also said I wouldn't ever have a baby, lol.
Monday, January 23, 2012
When Ashley met Andy pt. 5
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| Getting ready to go back |
Lucas's first cardiologist appointment came up a month after we got home. I was so nervous going into it. I had no idea what to expect and was scared we had done something wrong. The appointment went great. The doctor was pleased with the way his heart looked/sounded and we didn't change anything. PHEW! That one was easy. That afternoon we also had a hearing test scheduled because his left ear failed the newborn screen. That one was harder because we weren't supposed to let our 4 week old sleep for 4 hours beforehand and not eat for 3 of those. That was one fussy baby. We got there and did that test as well, he passed it, too :)
At the end of July, I had posted something on my facebook about him being blue often and hating that I couldn't change places with my baby. Well, Andy's mom found out and came to be all "nurse" to me, even though she hadn't been a nurse in at least 10 years and never worked for a cardiologist or anything heart related. I was in a bad mood that day, so before she could get her two cents in, I told her like it was. She hadn't ever worked for a cardiologist, she wasn't there when we talked to ours, and she didn't know what we were told to look for or when to worry. She got mad at me and stormed out the door saying I would regret saying that to her (to this day, I still don't).
Our next appointment was scheduled for 8/1. I went alone with Lucas to this one because Andy couldn't get time off of work because he was still new. That one wasn't as fun. I told him the issues with the feeding, sleeping, and blueness and he sent us for an impromtu ECHO. After the ECHO was done, he said that given the way it looks, he wanted to go ahead and schedule a heart cath to look around inside. That was like a real smack to the face- I knew it would happen, but I wasn't ready for it just yet.
That Tuesday 8/2, there was a knock at the front door. We normally don't answer the front door but something told me that I needed to this time. I opened it, the lady asked if I was Ashley then introduced herself and asked if she could come in. It was a woman from CPS! I guess that's my payback, huh? She did the interview and looked around the house and other then saying we shouldn't sleep with Lucas- it wasn't against the law though- there was nothing wrong. The case was dropped. I have refused to talk to Andy's mom since that day. She will never see Lucas again other then maybe pictures. That was really low and uncalled for. You can call me horrible names to my faces every day of my life, but don't dare say I'm a bad mom. The next day I left because I was scared to be in my own house- I was petrified she would show up and start more drama. I went to my grandma's with Lucas and we spent the night. I collected myself and came home the next day.
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| The day after the cath |
Pt 6 to come later :)
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
When Ashley Met Andy Pt 4
At my next to last OB appointment, my blood pressure was up and I had protein in my urine so they stuck me in the hospital overnight to do a 12 hour urine collection. Everything came out normal so they sent me home, but not before informing me that they set me up an appointment in Indianapolis just to "double check" ...serioursly, guys? So we went to IU the next week and peed in their cup and let them listen to the baby, etc etc.....for them to tell me everything was a-ok and to go home. I all but begged them to take Lucas then, but they wouldn't. So we went home...a whopping 2 hours after we drove 2 hours to get there.
So May 2 finally came...and that 2 hour drive took forever! I was so anxious, excited, nervous, scared, etc etc etc. We get there and it's a whirlwind of activity. The exam and all that good stuff was done- I was dialated a whopping 1/2 cm. And the doctor that was there that day was not pleasent about it....
They then wanted me to pee in a cup, you know, after they tore me all up so that didn't go so well. They tried to do a cath to get what was needed, but that hurt even worse (I'm a bit of a baby) so I tried the cup again. The nurse was able to get enough, so we didn't have to do that again! They weren't done torchering my lady parts though...because then they had to put a cervadil in....um ouch again. They started pitocin, too. So then started the long 12 hours of waiting. Lots of joking....some contraction feeling...the works. After 12 hours....I think I made it to 3 cm. So we did another round of cervadil and pitocin...12 hours later....3 1/2. We went one more time. No change after the 12 hours. Lucas was just stubborn as all get out! He did not want to get out! The doctor offered to send us home and try again in a week, or she could get me an epidural and break my water. I opted to go home- because I was too chicken to get an epidural. I was scared it would hurt. 3 days in the hospital, and all I got was contractions that continued the 4 days before we went back to try again.
May 9, here we go again! We arrived at 8 pm this time. I got an awesome night nurse- I had met her the first go around, and I just loved her. She was so kind and went above and beyond. Another check...what?! I went backwards! Back to a 1 maybe. We did cervadil again that night...what's one more, right? About 2 in the morning, though, they came in and said they had to take it out because all of the contractions were making Lucas's heart rate struggle a little. They left the pitocin on and just let me go back to sleep. During rounds the next morning, I learned I would be getting an epidural and they were going to break my water. Oh...ok, lol. They came in explained everything and I did the consent. They came back about 20 minutes later and I got it. It didn't hurt at all. Nothing like I thought it would- thank goodness. I didn't know why I was scared of it after that.Broke my water and we were on a roll. I had 24 hours or I had to have a c-section. They checked a few times throughout the day then told me it was time around 9 pm.
Blah blah blah...skip all the gory details...
Yay! Lucas was born at 10:19 PM. I saw him for about 20 seconds before they took him out of the room. I heard he weighed 7 pounds and was 20.5" long. They tried to fix my innerds...Lucas had apparently grabbed on and planned on taking everything with him...but were unsuccessful so they opted to take me back to the OR and knock me out to do it. I got to see Lucas for a minute or two on my way back. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever saw and I wanted to hold him so bad.
After getting back to my room after being repaired, I wanted to go see Lucas so bad. It couldn't be that hard to get up and sit in a wheelchair, could it? HAHAHAH! I nearly passed out about a dozen times before getting back in the bed. Fine, I would have to wait until tomorrow.
I got moved to the postpartum wing and fell asleep around 2 in the morning. I slept until about 3 the next day. It was amazing. I felt like a new woman :) I nagged and nagged Andy until he was finally ready and we could go see our baby. The walk *ride in my case* seemed to take FOREVER! But we finally made it. He was absolutely gorgeous! He looked mad, but can you blame him? I held him first. I didn't ever want to put him down. He was so cuddly and very observent of everything. He had wires and IV's attached and I was scared of him. He started crying and I nearly broke down. :( Andy held him for a little bit and then we put him back in his bed. The cardiologist on call came to speak to us, letting us know how his echo had gone. Everything was as expected, but they didn't think they were going to need to do any intervention right away. We went home three days later.
The next week or two probably went like any new parents first few weeks. Lots of insecurities and worrying over whether you were doing the right thing or not, but we eventually got into a routine-ish.
That's all for now. Stay tuned for Pt 5. :)
Side note, I was going to attach a picture, but it won't let me upload one :(
So May 2 finally came...and that 2 hour drive took forever! I was so anxious, excited, nervous, scared, etc etc etc. We get there and it's a whirlwind of activity. The exam and all that good stuff was done- I was dialated a whopping 1/2 cm. And the doctor that was there that day was not pleasent about it....
They then wanted me to pee in a cup, you know, after they tore me all up so that didn't go so well. They tried to do a cath to get what was needed, but that hurt even worse (I'm a bit of a baby) so I tried the cup again. The nurse was able to get enough, so we didn't have to do that again! They weren't done torchering my lady parts though...because then they had to put a cervadil in....um ouch again. They started pitocin, too. So then started the long 12 hours of waiting. Lots of joking....some contraction feeling...the works. After 12 hours....I think I made it to 3 cm. So we did another round of cervadil and pitocin...12 hours later....3 1/2. We went one more time. No change after the 12 hours. Lucas was just stubborn as all get out! He did not want to get out! The doctor offered to send us home and try again in a week, or she could get me an epidural and break my water. I opted to go home- because I was too chicken to get an epidural. I was scared it would hurt. 3 days in the hospital, and all I got was contractions that continued the 4 days before we went back to try again.
May 9, here we go again! We arrived at 8 pm this time. I got an awesome night nurse- I had met her the first go around, and I just loved her. She was so kind and went above and beyond. Another check...what?! I went backwards! Back to a 1 maybe. We did cervadil again that night...what's one more, right? About 2 in the morning, though, they came in and said they had to take it out because all of the contractions were making Lucas's heart rate struggle a little. They left the pitocin on and just let me go back to sleep. During rounds the next morning, I learned I would be getting an epidural and they were going to break my water. Oh...ok, lol. They came in explained everything and I did the consent. They came back about 20 minutes later and I got it. It didn't hurt at all. Nothing like I thought it would- thank goodness. I didn't know why I was scared of it after that.Broke my water and we were on a roll. I had 24 hours or I had to have a c-section. They checked a few times throughout the day then told me it was time around 9 pm.
Blah blah blah...skip all the gory details...
Yay! Lucas was born at 10:19 PM. I saw him for about 20 seconds before they took him out of the room. I heard he weighed 7 pounds and was 20.5" long. They tried to fix my innerds...Lucas had apparently grabbed on and planned on taking everything with him...but were unsuccessful so they opted to take me back to the OR and knock me out to do it. I got to see Lucas for a minute or two on my way back. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever saw and I wanted to hold him so bad.
After getting back to my room after being repaired, I wanted to go see Lucas so bad. It couldn't be that hard to get up and sit in a wheelchair, could it? HAHAHAH! I nearly passed out about a dozen times before getting back in the bed. Fine, I would have to wait until tomorrow.
I got moved to the postpartum wing and fell asleep around 2 in the morning. I slept until about 3 the next day. It was amazing. I felt like a new woman :) I nagged and nagged Andy until he was finally ready and we could go see our baby. The walk *ride in my case* seemed to take FOREVER! But we finally made it. He was absolutely gorgeous! He looked mad, but can you blame him? I held him first. I didn't ever want to put him down. He was so cuddly and very observent of everything. He had wires and IV's attached and I was scared of him. He started crying and I nearly broke down. :( Andy held him for a little bit and then we put him back in his bed. The cardiologist on call came to speak to us, letting us know how his echo had gone. Everything was as expected, but they didn't think they were going to need to do any intervention right away. We went home three days later.
The next week or two probably went like any new parents first few weeks. Lots of insecurities and worrying over whether you were doing the right thing or not, but we eventually got into a routine-ish.
That's all for now. Stay tuned for Pt 5. :)
Side note, I was going to attach a picture, but it won't let me upload one :(
Monday, January 9, 2012
When Ashley Met Andy Pt 3
So now I am definitely pregnant.....and panicking. It was confirmed in a doctor's office on 9/14- not that I had doubted it anymore at that point. The first appointment was scheduled for 10/5.
The morning sickness got increasingly worse, but I didn't really start puking until 10ish weeks or so, and even then, it wasn't much. I just felt horrible all day every day.
During the few weeks between finding out and the first appointment, I finally came to the realization that all of the issues I was having with Andy stemmed from nutso hormone levels. I finally decided that I wasn't going to leave him- both because I didn't want to and because there is no way I could ever raise a baby without him around.
So October 5 came around....I even took one more test before I went for the appointment (Andy still doesn't know this) because I secretly doubted that it just randomly fell out of me in my sleep, even if I knew that's not how it happened. We saw our little baby that day. It was so sweet to see "him"...he even moved for us....that made it real <3
There really isn't a whole lot between that day and December 27....THE DAY! I was so nervous that day. Andy and I had picked out a girls name at least a month before then (it will still remain secret just in case there ever happens to be another one) but we never picked out a boys name. I was convinced it was a girl, however we sat and debated for a good 3 hours the night before trying to come up with a name....just in case. Of course I didn't sleep the night before, that's just silly! And the hours drug on the next morning up until it was finally time to go see my goat again. The sonographer took what seemed like hours doing her measurements and what not before she finally turned the screen around for Andy and me to see. She's showing us the face...and the arms...and the legs...and she's like.."see that?" ...."congratulations, you're having a boy" ....and boy was he ever a boy! She gave us our pictures and we went to see my doctor. He looked, and agreed....it was definitely a boy! Good thing we picked out a boys name the night before, huh?
I got a call early the next week saying that they didn't get a real good picture of his heart during the ultrasound and they wanted me to come back in. No biggie, she said...he was just laying in an odd position. I was nervous, but put those feelings aside knowing that I was going to get to see him again.
I went for the ultrasound and she took lots of pictures and said she thought she got a good one this time. I went to my appointment a few weeks later and the doctor said she still didn't get a good picture, but the sonographer said everything looked OK. I could either choose to go with that assumption or I could go to IU to get a Level II ultrasound- fetal echo. We had decided to just assume everything was OK, but word got out to Andy's family and his mom started driving me mad about scheduling that appointment. I finally called the doctor and told them I changed my mind- just to get her to shush....I will never admit it to her face, but I am actually grateful that she was super naggy.
My appointment was in early February. I told Andy to not even take the day off, there was no need for it because everything was going to be OK. My mom and dad took me because I didn't know where I was going and I'm horrible with directions. I get into the room and the tech starts looking around...there's his spine...and his he parts...then she starts getting all kinds of images of his heart. Using buttons and changing the view and colors and listening to sounds...this goes on for a good hour. She then left the room and an actual pediatric cardiologist came in. She looks around some, too, then asks me to go to the restroom because the baby is laying in an odd position and maybe by moving around he'll move too. So I go....then come back still thinking everything is a-ok...until I see my dad in the room now, too. She looks around a little longer, then started talking.
"You're baby has a heart defect." ....she talked for a good 10-15 minutes after this but I honestly don't know anything she said. My brain shut down and my world just started spinning. I was blaming myself...I did this and this and this and I didn't do this and that and it's all my fault.. The cardiologist was talking about surgeries and what would need to happen after he was born. Nothing was really set in stone at this point, I would come back in a few weeks for a confirmation. I sat in the car numb as could be....didn't say much to anyone. I did eat some food- I had to, it was best for the baby. I cried almost the entire trip home. When I got home I continued to cry, for probably 2 weeks off and on- still blaming myself and thinking my baby wouldn't make it. I drove to pick Andy up at work that night. I needed to see him. I needed him...he is my rock...my solid place...my support system and he would make it all better.
I had my second fetal echo at 32 weeks. A different cardiologist did the echo this time- I realllllllyIU OBICU and Riley's NICU, and scheduled an induction for May 2.
This is the end of when Ashley met Andy Pt. 3. I need a break. It still makes me super emotional to talk about all of this...I don't think it will ever really get better. But look...he was definitely a he!!!!
The morning sickness got increasingly worse, but I didn't really start puking until 10ish weeks or so, and even then, it wasn't much. I just felt horrible all day every day.
During the few weeks between finding out and the first appointment, I finally came to the realization that all of the issues I was having with Andy stemmed from nutso hormone levels. I finally decided that I wasn't going to leave him- both because I didn't want to and because there is no way I could ever raise a baby without him around.
So October 5 came around....I even took one more test before I went for the appointment (Andy still doesn't know this) because I secretly doubted that it just randomly fell out of me in my sleep, even if I knew that's not how it happened. We saw our little baby that day. It was so sweet to see "him"...he even moved for us....that made it real <3
There really isn't a whole lot between that day and December 27....THE DAY! I was so nervous that day. Andy and I had picked out a girls name at least a month before then (it will still remain secret just in case there ever happens to be another one) but we never picked out a boys name. I was convinced it was a girl, however we sat and debated for a good 3 hours the night before trying to come up with a name....just in case. Of course I didn't sleep the night before, that's just silly! And the hours drug on the next morning up until it was finally time to go see my goat again. The sonographer took what seemed like hours doing her measurements and what not before she finally turned the screen around for Andy and me to see. She's showing us the face...and the arms...and the legs...and she's like.."see that?" ...."congratulations, you're having a boy" ....and boy was he ever a boy! She gave us our pictures and we went to see my doctor. He looked, and agreed....it was definitely a boy! Good thing we picked out a boys name the night before, huh?
I got a call early the next week saying that they didn't get a real good picture of his heart during the ultrasound and they wanted me to come back in. No biggie, she said...he was just laying in an odd position. I was nervous, but put those feelings aside knowing that I was going to get to see him again.
I went for the ultrasound and she took lots of pictures and said she thought she got a good one this time. I went to my appointment a few weeks later and the doctor said she still didn't get a good picture, but the sonographer said everything looked OK. I could either choose to go with that assumption or I could go to IU to get a Level II ultrasound- fetal echo. We had decided to just assume everything was OK, but word got out to Andy's family and his mom started driving me mad about scheduling that appointment. I finally called the doctor and told them I changed my mind- just to get her to shush....I will never admit it to her face, but I am actually grateful that she was super naggy.
My appointment was in early February. I told Andy to not even take the day off, there was no need for it because everything was going to be OK. My mom and dad took me because I didn't know where I was going and I'm horrible with directions. I get into the room and the tech starts looking around...there's his spine...and his he parts...then she starts getting all kinds of images of his heart. Using buttons and changing the view and colors and listening to sounds...this goes on for a good hour. She then left the room and an actual pediatric cardiologist came in. She looks around some, too, then asks me to go to the restroom because the baby is laying in an odd position and maybe by moving around he'll move too. So I go....then come back still thinking everything is a-ok...until I see my dad in the room now, too. She looks around a little longer, then started talking.
"You're baby has a heart defect." ....she talked for a good 10-15 minutes after this but I honestly don't know anything she said. My brain shut down and my world just started spinning. I was blaming myself...I did this and this and this and I didn't do this and that and it's all my fault.. The cardiologist was talking about surgeries and what would need to happen after he was born. Nothing was really set in stone at this point, I would come back in a few weeks for a confirmation. I sat in the car numb as could be....didn't say much to anyone. I did eat some food- I had to, it was best for the baby. I cried almost the entire trip home. When I got home I continued to cry, for probably 2 weeks off and on- still blaming myself and thinking my baby wouldn't make it. I drove to pick Andy up at work that night. I needed to see him. I needed him...he is my rock...my solid place...my support system and he would make it all better.
I had my second fetal echo at 32 weeks. A different cardiologist did the echo this time- I realllllllyIU OBICU and Riley's NICU, and scheduled an induction for May 2.
This is the end of when Ashley met Andy Pt. 3. I need a break. It still makes me super emotional to talk about all of this...I don't think it will ever really get better. But look...he was definitely a he!!!!
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Where is my money tree?!
I need to take a moment from the back story and rant a little. I am so tired of being completely and utterly broke. We never have any money to do anything even remotely fun, and if by chance we think we do and have a little fun, it comes back to bite us in the butt.
My rant this week is inspired by Andy's work. A few weeks ago, he was unable to work because the system he uses wasn't working properly. He was out of work for three days waiting for the update that had to come through to come trough. They told him since it wasn't an issue he caused he would be paid tech pay for those hours. The last check came out and it wasn't on there. Great! Now I can't pay my car payment...whatever though, there's a 10 day grace period and they said the tech pay would be on the next check. Guess what? It's not! So once again, we have a tiny check to last us two weeks...thats to buy groceries, pay a few bills that have to be paid, and to get gas for doctor appointments and the like. But, I'm still not able to pay my car payment. I wouldn't be quite as concerned if it were just the hit to my credit in the mix, because, well, mines shot after having a heart baby and not being able to work to pay my debts back. But it's not. Andy is a co-signer on the loan and we need to keep at least one of our credit scores fairly decent- we would like to move out of his dad's house at some point before we're 50.
I can't call them and skip a payment either, because you can do that once a year, and we did that in June right after he was born. I try to be frugle, I really do- the only thing we have "splurged" on in the last year was Christmas for the boys. We can't take Michael anywhere fun on the weekends he is here, we can't have date nights, our couch is broken but it's going to have to wait longer before we can replace it.
The ONLY thing getting us through right now is Lucas's SSI- and we can't use it for many things because we have to have proof of where the money went and, well, I don't know if you noticed, but formula isn't cheap lol. We have WIC, but he can't drink the Gerber formula and he's on 30 cal/oz so we go through about 12 cans a month. Times like now is when I wish I breastfed because that would save a lot of money, but thats a post for a different day.
I'm done ranting now. Time to take the puddin to get a shot :)
My rant this week is inspired by Andy's work. A few weeks ago, he was unable to work because the system he uses wasn't working properly. He was out of work for three days waiting for the update that had to come through to come trough. They told him since it wasn't an issue he caused he would be paid tech pay for those hours. The last check came out and it wasn't on there. Great! Now I can't pay my car payment...whatever though, there's a 10 day grace period and they said the tech pay would be on the next check. Guess what? It's not! So once again, we have a tiny check to last us two weeks...thats to buy groceries, pay a few bills that have to be paid, and to get gas for doctor appointments and the like. But, I'm still not able to pay my car payment. I wouldn't be quite as concerned if it were just the hit to my credit in the mix, because, well, mines shot after having a heart baby and not being able to work to pay my debts back. But it's not. Andy is a co-signer on the loan and we need to keep at least one of our credit scores fairly decent- we would like to move out of his dad's house at some point before we're 50.
I can't call them and skip a payment either, because you can do that once a year, and we did that in June right after he was born. I try to be frugle, I really do- the only thing we have "splurged" on in the last year was Christmas for the boys. We can't take Michael anywhere fun on the weekends he is here, we can't have date nights, our couch is broken but it's going to have to wait longer before we can replace it.
The ONLY thing getting us through right now is Lucas's SSI- and we can't use it for many things because we have to have proof of where the money went and, well, I don't know if you noticed, but formula isn't cheap lol. We have WIC, but he can't drink the Gerber formula and he's on 30 cal/oz so we go through about 12 cans a month. Times like now is when I wish I breastfed because that would save a lot of money, but thats a post for a different day.
I'm done ranting now. Time to take the puddin to get a shot :)
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
When Ashley met Andy Pt. 2
I moved in with Andy and his dad in the summer of 2008. I got a job relatively quickly at WalMart as a cashier. I hated that job. The hours sucked, there were never enough, and some of the customers were just nightmares. Right around my one year there mark, I got trained to work at the service desk- they refused to change my actual job title though because that would mean they had to pay me more per hour, which is a big no no at WalMart! Around February 2010 I became bored with the customer service type job and thought I would give factory work a shot, so I got a job where Andy worked at the time. It payed $1.40/hr more then when I left WalMart so that was pretty sweet to me. I also got a minimum of 40 hours everyweek, which was also pretty sweet. I was busy paying off all of my credit cards and student loans and was starting to actually save some money in hopes of being able to move out soon. We were on our way to work a few days before the winter shut down when the car broke down. We pulled over to the side of the road and had to wait on a tow truck. Since we were using our roadside assitance, we waited for 5 hours befor the truck got there. We could at least turn the car on to get warm. Turns out it was the transmission and we didn't have the money to get that fixed- the car had close to 200,000 miles anywho- so we got a loan to get a new car. The salesman was a pro....showed me the car I'd wanted for a while and that was all she wrote. Now we drive a 2007 Chevy Cobalt. Having to now pay a car payment and ridiculous insurance rates, that put the damper on getting to move out anytime soon.
I had been at the faactory for about a year, and I was now tired of that place, too. The new supervisor we got was a real jack ass who treated us like his slaves. I couldn't work in conditions where we were never praised and only told we weren't good enough. I applied to NEW for a job at a DTV agent. I was pretty stoked when I got that job, because after the six weeks of training in Terre Haute, it was a work from home job! I got to sit in my jammies all day and get paid :) The raises came fast and I was not even remotely disappointed. I didn't really like the job much because of unmentioned reasons (they will not be added here because some of the people I worked with will read this and it doesn't need to be known).
Fall 2010 came and I started becoming really mean to Andy. Like, mean to the point of telling him that I was going to leave him because I could do better. I had a get away planned and everything. I was going to go away for three days and rethink things a bit and see where we were going. Two days before I was to leave, it came to my realization that I hadn't had my menstral cycle that month. I thought it was maybe stress but I had a pregnancy test around just in case- I had bought 2 the last time there were concerns of a pregnancy. Andy left for work that day and I took the test. The whole 25 seconds it took to read out "pregnant" went on for about 100 years. It was a digital test, so there was no denying it. I had a small breakdown in the bathroom after calling my mom and not getting an answer. I was so incredibly scared and worried because I was still thinking that I didn't want to be with Andy anymore (it took about a month or so after that to realize it was crazy pregnant lady hormones :)). My mom called back and calmed me down- but you could hear the excitement in her voice. She's always wanted to be a grandma. Andy came home that night- he got here before I got off work- and since I couldn't hold it in anymore, I pointed him to the location of the positive test. He found it...and was just as speechless as I was. The last ten minutes of my shift took forever.
We discussed it a little bit after I got off work and I went to WalMart and bought six more. Don't judge me! :P They were positive, too.
And this is where we end this episode of Ashley meeting Andy. :) It's obviously not meeting anymore, since we obviously were doing other things ;), but this is the back story to get us to today
I had been at the faactory for about a year, and I was now tired of that place, too. The new supervisor we got was a real jack ass who treated us like his slaves. I couldn't work in conditions where we were never praised and only told we weren't good enough. I applied to NEW for a job at a DTV agent. I was pretty stoked when I got that job, because after the six weeks of training in Terre Haute, it was a work from home job! I got to sit in my jammies all day and get paid :) The raises came fast and I was not even remotely disappointed. I didn't really like the job much because of unmentioned reasons (they will not be added here because some of the people I worked with will read this and it doesn't need to be known).
Fall 2010 came and I started becoming really mean to Andy. Like, mean to the point of telling him that I was going to leave him because I could do better. I had a get away planned and everything. I was going to go away for three days and rethink things a bit and see where we were going. Two days before I was to leave, it came to my realization that I hadn't had my menstral cycle that month. I thought it was maybe stress but I had a pregnancy test around just in case- I had bought 2 the last time there were concerns of a pregnancy. Andy left for work that day and I took the test. The whole 25 seconds it took to read out "pregnant" went on for about 100 years. It was a digital test, so there was no denying it. I had a small breakdown in the bathroom after calling my mom and not getting an answer. I was so incredibly scared and worried because I was still thinking that I didn't want to be with Andy anymore (it took about a month or so after that to realize it was crazy pregnant lady hormones :)). My mom called back and calmed me down- but you could hear the excitement in her voice. She's always wanted to be a grandma. Andy came home that night- he got here before I got off work- and since I couldn't hold it in anymore, I pointed him to the location of the positive test. He found it...and was just as speechless as I was. The last ten minutes of my shift took forever.
We discussed it a little bit after I got off work and I went to WalMart and bought six more. Don't judge me! :P They were positive, too.
And this is where we end this episode of Ashley meeting Andy. :) It's obviously not meeting anymore, since we obviously were doing other things ;), but this is the back story to get us to today
Monday, January 2, 2012
When Ashley met Andy Pt.1
We'll start at the most obvious place of the family story, whenI first met Andy.
It was Januaryish 2007 when he found me on a dating website- yes, I used one simply because I was looking for validation. I didn't think any "normal" person would ever like me.
We talked a few times but never really got close or connected in any way until one day in mid February. I just randomly said hi again and that was all she wrote. We talked several times a day after that.
I was ready to meet him and convinced him to come to ISU to meet me on March 2, 2007. I told him to meet me outside the gates to the residence hall I lived in- safe, right? So, anyways, he showed up just when he was supposed to but I almost kept walking when I saw him- he looked like a 40 year old virgin rapist HAHA. (Sorry Andy...I love you!!) I didn't, though. I invited him up to my room- even safer, I know! Whatever happened that day- I won't be sharing details- made me smitten.
He went home and I thought for sure he would never come back to see me. Thankfully, I was wrong :) In April I had a 10 page presentation I had to give in a class and I was a procrastinator-wating until the night before it was due to do 90% of it. I had to stay up all night and Andy stayed up with me that entire night. He was my cheerleader <3. That night was the night that I realized I loved him.
The next year was filled with every other week visits and tons of phone calls. In April of 2008, I decided I didn't want to continue on with my education- a choice I now regret but it's too late.
Andy talked to his dad and due to the conditions of the house my parents live in, he let me move to his house- it was supposed to be temporary...
It was Januaryish 2007 when he found me on a dating website- yes, I used one simply because I was looking for validation. I didn't think any "normal" person would ever like me.
We talked a few times but never really got close or connected in any way until one day in mid February. I just randomly said hi again and that was all she wrote. We talked several times a day after that.
I was ready to meet him and convinced him to come to ISU to meet me on March 2, 2007. I told him to meet me outside the gates to the residence hall I lived in- safe, right? So, anyways, he showed up just when he was supposed to but I almost kept walking when I saw him- he looked like a 40 year old virgin rapist HAHA. (Sorry Andy...I love you!!) I didn't, though. I invited him up to my room- even safer, I know! Whatever happened that day- I won't be sharing details- made me smitten.
He went home and I thought for sure he would never come back to see me. Thankfully, I was wrong :) In April I had a 10 page presentation I had to give in a class and I was a procrastinator-wating until the night before it was due to do 90% of it. I had to stay up all night and Andy stayed up with me that entire night. He was my cheerleader <3. That night was the night that I realized I loved him.
The next year was filled with every other week visits and tons of phone calls. In April of 2008, I decided I didn't want to continue on with my education- a choice I now regret but it's too late.
Andy talked to his dad and due to the conditions of the house my parents live in, he let me move to his house- it was supposed to be temporary...
Welcome to Tagueland!
I am going to be blogging about life in the Tague household. Give me some time, as finding time to do anything while not holding momma's boy is rare ;)
Enjoy :)
Enjoy :)
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