Here I am. It's 3:00 in the morning. I should be in bed resting as much as I can before the long day ahead of me, but I can't. I'm wide awake and nothing is helping. I just have this "mommy intuition" that something is going to go wrong and it's eating me up. I had this same feeling the night before his BT Shunt....the night before the afternoon they were so close to putting my baby on life support...the night before I thought we lost him when I heard the words, "you can go to the bathroom after you go back to day surgery. They need to talk to you." Call me crazy, but I have a feeling.
Andy says it's just because it's a surgery and I've psyched myself out- to which I have replied time and again that I slept like a rock the night before he had his pacemaker placed, and I wasn't even tired that night.
I HATE THIS FEELING! I'm so nauseous that I am barely keeping a drink down at this point. I can only hope, pray, wish, and positive vibe myself through this. I don't want to be a heart mommy anymore, today. I want to go home, snuggle up in my much less comfortable bed with my tv, my fan, and the vibration of the fish airerator thingy to keep me company as I drift off to sleep.
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